I had the privilege of being involved in several weddings recently. It was fantastic to be part of that special for a young (now married) couple – one of whom used to be part of the church youth group I led. Here are some questions I have thought of, worth talking together or even with a marriage prep mentor/pastor:

How did you get to this decision to spend the rest of your lives together? What is your ‘journey’ so far?

How do you connect with each other’s families?

Is there any dangerous ‘baggage’ that you are both aware if bringing in the relationship?

What is the quality you most appreciate in each other?

What annoys you in the other person?

Which part of God’s character moves you most?

In which area of serving God do you feel most passionate about?

In your wildest dreams, how would you see yourselves serving God as a couple?

What are your greatest fears regarding your relationship – how are you facing and ‘dealing’ with those fears together?

What ‘fences’ do you have in place to safeguard your marriage?

What tonics do you have in place to ensure that your relationship matures continually?

Who influences you and to whom are you regularly accountable together?


  1. The last question is a bit “fuzzy”, I think. Do you mean you think a husband and wife must be “regularly accountable together” for their marriage inner workings to an outside party – as part of normal marriage life?

  2. Thanks Brandusa – I guess I was thinking of a godly, wise, mature outside influence in the marriage. Could be a parent, friend, church leader. Does that make sense?

  3. Thanks for the reply. Godly, wise, mature outside influence is wonderful, when needed… I find fault somewhat with the idea – in case that’s what you meant – that normal family life would ‘require’ that the couple constantly, REGULARLY have an outside party to whom they are accountable – like an obligation of sorts. The married couple does not need an outside person, no matter how mature and godly, to whom to REGULARLY go and ‘confess’ all of their family difficulties or struggles. They do need to have godly and more mature friends available to whom they COULD go when the need arises, to ask for advice related to a specific area they are having difficulties with. But a whole lot of things can be worked out wonderfully by their dedication to one another and to God and by keeping their issues private… I hope my wording makes sense to you, I’m a bit tired right now.

  4. I didn’t say regularly. I just think – as much as the couple need to work at the marriage together – outside perspective can help or at least ensure that the right path is being followed and the right attitudes are displayed in the.marriage. I am certainly not thinking either ‘heavy shepherding’, dependency or interference on others from outside.

    What you said is ‘spot on’ too.

  5. You did say regularly, in “Who influences you and to whom are you regularly accountable together?” See, that’s what I was referring to. 🙂

    I understand what you mean. Yes, outside help is valuable, when it’s not interfering and so on. I’ve seen both kinds – it makes all the difference in the world.


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